So it is 10:09 am.
And thus far today my activities have NOT included the following:
- woke up late
- frock out (that's the past tense of freak, right?) because I had 22 minutes to get both myself and my child ready, pack our lunches, pack his diaper bag, and stuff it all into my car.
- kissed my husband goodbye
- prayed for strength
- discovered my son in his crib covered from armpits to knees in his own urine. (dang those cheap diapers!)
- rocked and comforted said son because he was traumatized and cold from the pee pee incident. also because he was sitting on the blankie which he wanted to hold and didn't realize the weight of his own body was the prohibiting factor, hence screaming frantically.
- bathed son
- narrowly averted a tantrum due to draining of bath tub by diverting son's attention to his favorite shampoo bottle
- ran around like mad woman, dressing son, throwing items into bags, letting dog out to potty, filling sippy cup with milk, throwing my own hair into ponytail for lack of time, squishing son into coat, etc.
- administer one spanking and one time-out to son for tantrum over a disagreement, namely: who among us is the Momma, and who has to obey the other and put-that-ever-loving-broom-down-because-its-not-time-to-sweep-right-now-and-come-with-momma-for-crying-out-loud!
- have talk with son about why he must obey and not be rebellious because Jesus wants us to obey our parents and be respectful
- feel sorry about the spanking, but suck it up as a Momma duty because I love my son and don't want him to be a spoiled brat
- drop son off at Grandma's house
- sigh heavily with relief
- arrive at work to discover that I'm: 1) 8 minutes late, 2) alone
- check facebook
- send 3 emails
- eat banana and drink 2 cups of coffee (should have been 4)
- Take 973 phone calls, and handle 58 walk-in customers over span of 90 minutes
- (OK, that last one was a slight exaggeration)
- thank the good boss for showing up finally to aid in the craziness
- write a slightly... but only slightly exaggerated blog post about the chaos that has not been my morning so far.
Elijah does not love walnuts and eat them faster than I can put them in front of him.
He is also not currently in the pack-n-play screaming his face off because he doesn't want to take a nap. My son is a perfect angel, don't you know.