Monday, August 1, 2011

Oh, changes.

You may recall that I announced a little over a month ago that my little Zekers had decided to wean himself. Well, I take that back. At the time I thought he was finished nursing because his interest in it was being replaced with curiosity about everything else in the world. But I just really wasn't ready to close this chapter quite yet. So with some persistence on my part we kept it up. At that point he was down to just morning and evening nursing.

And then a few weeks later, partly for the sake of time in the morning, and partly because he wasn't interested, we cut back to just the bedtime feeding. I realize that by that time it wasn't for his nutrition as much as it was for bonding and the emotional connection we shared. (Which I know from experience would never be the same after he weaned.)

So up until a few days ago we had our nighttime routine of rocking, lullabies, and nursing my sweet little one to sleep. Then the other evening as I was settling into the rocking chair with him in my arms he wouldn't snuggle up to me as before. He wanted to sit upright and put his head on my shoulder. He wanted me to lay him down in his bed before he even dozed off.

Plus there is the teeth situation. (If you know what I mean.) 5 of them, with 2 more poking thru just yesterday.

Nursing my infants has been one of the most rewarding parts of Motherhood for me. It a role no one else can fill. What a wonderful feeling to know you are nourishing your child in the way that God designed your body to do. A truly precious experience. But now he's gaining so much independence that he hardly even needs his Mommy any more.

I know its not true, but I feel as if by this change I'm losing my "baby". I find it sad that my job as a Mother is to let him go... one milestone at a time.

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