Tuesday, May 17, 2011

But you were...

When I lay my tired self down in bed each night I literally smile and whisper a prayer of thanks. I am reminded every time of how blessed I am to have a warm (and now, very comfy) bed, safe house, precious children, loving husband, and God who provides all my needs.

Last night I was settling in and flipping through the stations on my Z√úne when I came upon a song I used to know. I don't know about you, but to me music evokes all sorts of emotions and memories. It's almost like stepping back in time if I play it loud enough. In my mind, chapters of my life are sorted and categorized like library books according to the music I was surrounded with at that time. {Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this way.?}

Anyway, the song on the radio had been popular during a time of my life I'd really rather forget. It was by far my worst season! I had been wandering far from the Lord, participating in all sorts ungodliness, and making hurtful decisions. It was full-on rebellion and I knew it. But I didn't care. As the Bible says; people love their darkness. Praise God, He rescued me and forgave me. But to be honest, sometimes the knowledge of that time still haunts me. I still wrestle with feelings of guilt and regret. What if I had only listened and obeyed?

Do you ever have those "ah-ha" moments? You know, the ones when you finally truly realize what you thought you'd known all along. That's what I had last night. After I listened to that song I thought about turning off the music in frustration, but I decided to try to get it out of my head. So I hit the "random" button and landed on, of course, KLove. The song was half-way through and I caught the lyrics in the middle of a phrase. But what I heard felt like a jolt of awakening to my soul. It certainly was sent to me in a moment of need.
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I'm forgiven.
The song is "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real.
Which brought to mind one of my favorite passages which I come back to over and over again.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11
"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God."
Can I get an AMEN?

1 comment:

Grace said...

AMEN,!! No really, I hear that. I love that.