Friday, March 18, 2011

Mountains, Steam Mops & Idiot Cycles

Oh, to be inside the mind of my three-year-old!

At the dinner table, a conversation between Elijah and me...
Does Ezekiel want some pineapple?
No, thanks.
Does he like cow's milk?
Does he like Mommy's milk?
Does Mommy have milk because she has a breast?
Does Daddy have a breast?
Do I?
Does Grandma Debby?
Because she's a girl? And only girls have breasts?
Does Grandma have milk in hers?
Is that because her breast isn't a mountain like yours?
Hers are just short ones?
{laughter from Manny and me}
Yes, that's right.

Last night Elijah was snacking on some Wavy Lays. He placed one on his shoulder and said "Hey Grandma look. I have a chip on my shoulder."

After being disobedient and unruly at the office a few days ago I informed Elijah that we would not be going to Big Top for a treat. He cried the whole way home. I used the opportunity to explain to him that we don't reward bad behavior. But he'll have another chance to listen and obey in a few days, so we'll see how things go then. The good thing is that we always have more chances to make better choices. He was very repentant. When we walked in the door at home he threw his arm over his face, and with as much melodrama as he could muster, exclaimed "This is the worst day ever!"

Manny gave Elijah a shower right before bed last night while I was nursing Ezekiel. When Zeke had been put to bed, I went to tuck Elijah in. As I leaned over him he whispered to me "Mom, my pillow pet got a little bit wet. But that's ok. Dad says it happens to him sometimes too. When you take a shower before bed, if your hair is wet sometimes you get your pillow a little wet. But it's ok because it dries fast."

He found my Bible sitting on the kitchen table. I normally let him page through and pretend that he's reading while looking at the maps in the back. He came walking into the living room holding it open in both hands, head down in concentration, and mumbled to himself "This is God's Holy Word."

It was after 10:30 pm and I was turning in for the night recently. As I opened Elijah's door to check on him one last time I saw him open his eyes. He should have been fast asleep by then, but he must have been staying up late doing some deep thinking. He called out to me, "Hey Mom! You know what you should have? You need an O Cedar Pro Mist!"
"A what?"
"An O Cedar Pro Mist!"
"Really? Why do you say that?"
"Because it can suck up M&Ms and cleans the floor and stuff."
"Yeah! And it you push the blue trigger and water comes out to clean the floor! And then you take off the blue pad and you can wash it! That's why I think you need one."
"Wow. Thanks honey. That sounds like something I could use."
"Yeah! So next time we're at Wal-Mart I'm going to buy you one. Ok?"
"Thanks! That's so sweet of you."
"Mom?... I wonder if Grandma Debby needs one too? I think I'll buy her one at Wal-Mart too."

Out of nowhere he asked me last night, "Mom, what's a washable microfiber pad?"
I suppose he must have been watching a commercial.

At bed time recently I kissed Elijah goodnight. He then asked, "Can you give me an idiot cycle?"
I said "Honey, I don't know what that means. What is an idiot cycle?"
He said, "You know! It's a kind of kiss!"
"I'm sorry. I still don't understand. What kind of kiss are you talking about?"
"You know Mom! It's the kind of kiss where you rub your noses together.", he explained.
"Oh, you mean an Eskimo kiss!"

Sometimes when we spend time with both my Mom and Grandma Theresa, Elijah will address them like this: "hey grandmas!"

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