Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Decade

Over the weekend Manny and I headed out of town to celebrate our 10 years of marriage. Wait... did you get that? Ten years. How can I possibly be old enough to be married 10 years? Granted, we married young. I was twenty- a sophomore in college. But here we are today, 30 years old and a fantastic little boy to show for it.

Our anniversary was the 14th, but we had out-of-town guests, then illness to deal with. Since our lives have been so much about Elijah since he was born (as they should be) we never make time together. Sadly, our relationship has suffered as a result (but perhaps as a result of other things too). We rarely have a "grown up" conversation which does not somehow end up going back to who will change/bathe/feed/play with/care for Elijah. He is our life now and I love that. What I do not love is that any and all family time we have ends promptly at 8:00 pm. In other words, Manny and I are never alone together. This is not good.

Each night I put Elijah to bed at 8:00, then come downstairs to find my husband on the computer playing World of Warcraft until after midnight. People, I am not exaggerating. If its not every night, it certainly is 5 nights a week (sometimes more). It frustrates the living crap out of me! What is a wife to do? (Believe me... I have tried IT ALL. And that is the honest truth.) It not only makes me angry, but frustrated, hurt, and very sad. So, while I would like to be able to say that after ten years, our marriage is wonderful, exciting, and strong, I cannot. What I can say is that I am thankful beyond words for my sweet little boy who has at times been the only tie which binds us. I can also say that I love my husband and I want things to be right between us.

So we decided a little time away would do us some good. And off to Louisville we drove while Elijah had the time of his life with my parents. It's not a far drive, but just enough to get away and have some time alone. We spent the afternoon on Saturday visiting the Kentucky State Fair, eating fair food, looking at gigantic cows, enjoying the gorgeous weather and each other's company, which we had almost forgotten how to do. Our hotel was lovely, very modern and comfortable with a sparkling pool. So after getting settled in and unwinding I went for a dip, and to my great surprise Manny even swam with me for a while!! I swear I was beginning to wonder if he even knows how to swim since the number of times he has gone with me in the decade I've known him I can count on one hand. No seriously. He. does. not. swim. But yet, he did for me. I felt special. ;) That night we watched a pretty sunset & had dinner at a really yummy Italian place which we both thoroughly enjoyed. I only slightly regret not taking photos (except with Manny's iphone, so maybe I can figure out how to post one or two).

Sunday we slept in. WE SLEPT IN. Oh good gracious people! I slept past 8:00. And no, I am not kidding. I cannot describe how relaxed and care-free I felt, just snoozing away in that huge fluffy bed. After a leisurely breakfast and a stroll through a bookstore we decided to pack up and head home. But not before stopping to check out the downtown & riverfront park area. It was incredibly nice out - a crisp sunny pre-autumn day with a bright blue sky and puffy clouds. How soothing it was to just walk, and chat, and enjoy our surroundings. I feel like we were getting to know each other all over again.

By the time we made it back to Evansville and stopped for a bite to eat we were missing our little man something fierce. In fact, I pretty much missed him the entire time. I was constantly saying Elijah would love this or Elijah would laugh at that... or Wouldn't Elijah have fun here? On the one hand I regret not taking him on our little trip, but on the other I know we needed the time together. This weekend was what we needed to reconnect. And though I cannot claim we are back to where we should be, I think we at least had a nice time with each other. That's a start.

Here's hoping for the next decade to be more fruitful, blessed, exciting, and full of love and happiness than the first.


grace said...

I want to sleep in...ever! that sound glorious!

so glad you guys got the opportunity!

Jeri said...

Don't worry about the b-day card!! And you are now in the "29 Forever" club with me! :o) I hope Manny's Dad is okay!

Dreamer4agift said...

sounds like a much needed trip. glad u were able to go.