Friday, January 16, 2009

to whom it may concern

Dear Mister Winter:


I really despise you.
I hate the way you make my fingers and toes and house very cold.
Because of you I have neglected my back porch swing for three solid months.
You kill my flowers and tomato vines.
You ruin any chances of taking my boy outdoors to play.
You make the sky gray and spit little droplets of ice.
People get cranky when you come around.

It's your fault my cheeks have lost their bronzed glow and my legs have taken on a lovely shade of pale. Darn you!

You give me goose bumps in the shower, which incidentally make it very difficult to shave my legs. My husband thanks you for this.

Why do you insist on sucking the life out of all the decent daylight hours? I mean, common, by the time we get home from work it's already dark.

Speaking of driving home, I really can't stand the way you make me shiver until my teeth chatter the whole way there. Its just a teeny tiny bit distracting.

And by the way, thanks a lot for the sand and salt, which now cover the lower half of my car. I love the way it gets all over my clothes when I shut my door.

I am really sick of your stupid frigid antics. You suck! There. I said it. Take that Old Man Winter.

Sincerely,

One Cold Indiana Momma

P.S. Could you please stop making my nose run? Thanks.

2 comments:

Jenni said...

I am Sooooo ready for the winter to be over!

C said...

Here Here!