All this talk lately about living life, being thankful, making the most of every opportunity, appreciating loved ones, etc. has really got me to thinking. And one thing I've not been doing enough of since having my beloved Elijah is thinking grown-up thoughts. (You know, the kind that don't involve planing baby's schedule, feeding, changing, chasing after, or cleaning him) Not that I haven't had time, because not having time to think for ones-self as a Mother is an urban myth (we always have a few moments: either showering, drifting off to sleep at night, driving, doing dishes, or while baby is napping). Unfortunately I tend to take those moments to myself to veg out. I just want to relax, close my eyes for a minute, look at book or magazine, or mess with my scrapbooks. So recently motivation has kicked in and I want to take every advantage of it before it goes away, along with my energy and sanity with holidays shortly upon us.
When I was younger - college age and newlywed - I did some of my best thinking while journaling (waaay back before this fancy Internet blogging stuff). I would get out my journal and a lovely gel pen (aren't they so fun to write with?) and go to town jotting down my thoughts, worries, prayers, dreams, frustrations, inner secrets, plans, and the happenings of daily life. Plus I liked to sketch a little for added effect. I would make note of verses that spoke to me and things I was learning/being convicted of. I would use my journal as a notebook during Bible studies and church. I would keep song lyrics that meant something to me. I would be completely honest with myself... good or bad. Because why not? It was my private place to "get it all out". Very therapeutic, really.
But, gosh I can't imagine being so brutally honest here in blogger world. After all, other people read it (though not very many) and what might they think? Silly, because it doesn't matter what they think. I'm sad to admit my old fashioned paper journal has gone the way of the VHS tape, ThighMaster, and high-top sneakers.... obsolete and rarely ever seen. ha ha. (I actually do still have my old journals but they are locked up tight.)
Where the heck is she going with all this??? Hang on, you'll see.
Anyway. I've decided to make a list of goals, both short-term and long-term. I think without goals it's hard to make progress. And this is not the stuff I would say after its been passed through the filter of "public" Internet blogging or what I think other people want to hear, but what I honestly have to say.
It's too easy to become stagnant and apathetic toward life. I don't want to get by and go through the motions of life... I want to LIVE life, to enjoy each day, each moment. I want to make new memories in stead of thinking about old ones. I want to make new friends (while still loving the old ones). I want to decide things rather than going along with the flow.
Life = living not just existing. And that is why I'm making a list of goals... to live... to pursue something... to work... to fight.
And now if I could just finish that list I would post it.
1 comment:
Old school journals aren't completely out of style...
I use one nearly every day. :) And for the exact purposes you said you used to use yours. I feel like half of my brain-and heart- are written in there. Definitely very private and personal... but I love being able to go back and reread and cross off lists and look at lyrics and verses that were speaking to me. I'd encourage you to pick it up some. I just keep my journal with my Bible usually.. but both seem to follow me most places I go. :) I think alot of how I process things is through writing, which I think is why I am such a journal-er. Anyway, I'm rambling. :)
Are you guys getting Elijah anything exciting for Christmas this year??
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