Libby is back from Costa Rica for Christmas and I'm so excited! So is Elijah. He was 8 weeks old the last time he saw her.
We are expecting up to 6 inches of snow between now and Saturday night. I'm actually looking forward to it. Maybe a good snow will put me in a holiday mood. I have done absolutely NO Christmas shopping. Seriously, I haven't bought ONE gift. I haven't sent one card. Haven't put up any decorations (because I don't have them in Indy) except the little scrawny trees we had in the attic. No lights on the house, no wreath on the door, no pretty pine scented candles sitting around, no cute snowman plates or mugs, or Nativity scene, or anything. It's so sad. Haven't even baked any cookies or made any wassail or any fruit cakes. bah humbug. I don't suppose it will matter much. In 3 weeks we'd be taking it all down anyway.
At least it's Friday and maybe I can get some sleep. I'm perpetually tired - have been since I came back to work. I hate leaving my baby every day! I'm missing his whole life while I'm here at work. And by the time I can even think about staying home with him, even part time, he won't be a baby any more. I honestly hate our lives right now. I hate that there is no way out of this situation. I hate that we had a baby when we did because I can't raise my own son. And I hate that I can't afford to buy any Christmas gifts. And I'm so jealous of wifes who's husbands have jobs so they can stay home with their children. And I just wonder why we turned out this way. And what the heck can I do about it?
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