Tomorrow afternoon I'm driving down to Evansville with Elijah to visit my family again. Manny can't come this time because of work. I'm making the trip alone because I really want to see my aunt and uncle, who will be in town from Texas and I want to say goodbye to Libby one last time before she heads off to Costa Rica. I dread driving it by myself because its boring. And what if Elijah cries the whole time and I can't comfort him? But I think it will be worth the trip because next week is my last week off work before my maternity leave is over.
Speaking of going back to work... honestly it breaks my heart to think about leaving my little boy - even if it is with Manny. I'm sure Manny will be fine with him. But I can't stand thinking about all I'll be missing. He changes so much every day. It seems that he's always doing something new and I'm afraid his whole life will pass me by and I won't be there to share it with him. It turns my stomach! Oh how I wish there were another way. I pray EVERY single day that God would make a way for us - that I'd be able to stay home with him, at least part time. I'm his Mom and I feel it's my role to care for him and raise him. Ugh! If only one of these houses would sell... (or both would be even better!) Please pray for us. I'm so sad.
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