supposed to be happy

These few short months are supposed to be some of the very happiest of my life but honestly they aren't. I hate to admit it, but the situation with our houses not selling and not knowing how we're going to make it once my maternity leave is up is really stealing my joy. I try SO hard to just be happy that I get to stay home for a few more weeks with Elijah. It's just very difficult knowing it will be ending so soon and I don't know how we'll make ends meet once I have to pay an extra $500-$600 per month for child care when I go back to work. Manny is right when he tells me it's pointless to worry. I fully understand that there is nothing more we can possibly do to remedy the situation (we have both houses listed sale. What more can we do?). I hate to worry. I'm literally sick to my stomach over it though. I'm sure the post-pregnancy hormones don't make me feel any better either. I hate that this time in my sweet baby's life, which is so very short and precious, is full of worry and dread for me. I wish I could just relax, be happy, and enjoy watching him grow up. I really do pray constantly that God will perform a miracle and make a way for us to get to Evansville within the next 6 weeks (before I have to go back to work). But what if He doesn't want to make a way for us? What if He is trying to teach me a lesson or something? We have endured this so long. It will be 2 years in November. How much longer? Ugh. I'm so discouraged.

On another subject - Elijah went to church for the first time yesterday. He was a very good boy and didn't make a peep the whole time. He wore his big boy clothes and looked so handsome. :)